This blog is dedicated to the many Black Gay Men, who feel that we dont have any where to go to discuss our issues, and the way that we feel. This blog will focus on the needs of what I hope will by my fans, and followers thoughts, and ideas. Whether you are a straight male, who wants to know why gay men act the way they act or a gay man who wants to talk about something that is on your mind, this is the place to do so.
Allow me the opportunity to introduce myself. I am Christian Paige, (Activist, Author, Singer, Host, Model & the list goes on) and I recently went to a meeting where the room was mixed with both white, black, asian, and latino men. I kept hearing the things that affected all of the other races, and none of the black guys would speak up to give their point of view, when one of the other ethnicities would say something like "Black guys dont have to deal with rejection in relationships." Or "Black guys dont really care about what happens at Capital Pride." (and mind you I do care about what happens at Capital Pride when it comes to being Black, cause I hate that we do not get recognized enough). So I sat back, and I observed, and then I decided, Im going to start voicing my opinion, but I dont know everything there is to being black and gay so Im going to include my BROTHERS in this venture. Which leads me to you...Feel free to comment, suggest topics, tune into the VIDEO BLOG ON YOUTUBE, and voice your opinion. I know most of this stuff will come from my point of view but if you dont agree, or have better advice, please let me know, and I will post it!! That's what's this is all about, VOICING OUR OPINIONS, AND OUR THOUGHTS!!
The GAY COMMUNITY is made up of a lot of different races, not just WHITE! (And before I go any further, I am not a racist, I am just a realist, and huge supporter of GAY RIGHTS, but I want it to be known that Black Gay Men go thru just as much as White, Latino, Asian, African, & etc. do) Now that we have gotten that out of the way...let's get to a topic....
"Gay Teens"
We have all been young, and we all see these young boys running around here in DC (since DC is home, I can only talk about DC) with these purses, make-up, tight jeans, little shirts, and so on. We as older adults (myself included) will look at these poor poor babies, and laugh, make slick remarks, and then walk away. You know what's wrong with that, we didnt offer to help them out, or even suggest something. Understandbly so they may be expressing themselves, others are just following the leader. Allow me to be a little transparent here.
When I first came out of the closet, (and not the actual first time, cause I came out at least 3 times) I was at Fayetteville State University in NC. I was a flaming queen....didnt know if I wanted to be masc or fem. I juggled between the two (a act that I have learned to turn on and off over the years) dressing in fishnet shirts, leather pants, and dyeing my hair outrageous colors. I was proud to be gay, and did not care what anyone thought, but I could not seem to get a lover. Every man I met only wanted to FUCK me, and leave. Now, I was not easy, so don't think I was a whore, cause I was very picky about who got it, and I didnt want anyone from my hometown to get it at all. But for about two years, I struggled trying to find myself in this southern church driven town. Finally, one day I decided Im moving to Atlanta. I moved and I wanted to go out to Traxx (back in 2001) becaues they had this night called "Thugged out Tuesday" and if you were 21 you could get in free. OH MY!! I knew I couldnt get in dressed the way I was, so I toned it down, and for the first time, when I went into the club, guys noticed me, not for my ass or dick, but for my appearence. I never looked back!!
Now I said that to say this,
These young boys are only doing what they think is the norm. If you pay attention to some of the Reality Shows, most of the popular gay guys are EXTREMELY FLAMBOYANT!! This is a typical gay stereotype, but you do not see to many EXTREMELY FLAMBOYANT white guys on these shows, and if you do they do not get a lot of TV TIME!! We are Black Gay Men are not all Flamboyant, some of us are Masculine, some are stuck in between (like myself) but it's who we are! I guess what Im trying to say is, Being Gay does not mean...LET ME PUT IT IN YOUR FACE!! That's what these kids are trying to do, and I know we all have gone thru that, but let's try and stop this cycle. To many GAY TEENS (black, white, asian, and etc.) are being bashed! Let's not give these guys any reason to bash our babies, let's try and help them. You can say something, hopefully they will listen!!!
Thanks for reading, and please COMMENT & Make Suggestions! As I stated I dont know it all, but Im willing to learn!
Much Love,
CP
in regards to the gay teens, I myself as a 19 yr old see this and am very irratated by it. not that im trying to stop them from expressing themselves it jsut frustrates me tosee ppl making their sexuality there personality, now I myself am not the most masculine guy in the world. but I know I dnt have a natural desire to carry a purse. Im still a man and I enjoy doing things guys do. I have nothing against femms, but if I wanted to be with a woman I would
ReplyDeleteVery beautifully written. One thing that I think confuses so many heterosexual individuals, particularly those who are against homosexuality, is the fact that gays and lesbians say they don't want to be treated any differently, that they are just the same as anyone else, but then kids such as the ones you described will do any and everything to use their sexual orientation as a means of expressing themselves. Being gay should not be WHO you are. It should be a part of you, but it shouldn't define you; just as being a woman doesn't define me, and just as being black shouldn't define anyone who is black. For the lost and confused teens who are trying to "find themselves", laughing at them is definitely not the way. We need to embrace these children and let them know that regardless of whether they are flaming or subtle, feminine or masculine, butch or lipstick, they are accepted for who they are, loved for who they are, and loved regardless of who they choose to love in this lifetime. And we need to let them know that no more than we appreciate the way television profiles blacks or any other minority group in a negative light do we appreciate the stereotypical glorification that is given to the overtly feminine gay black male. Be yourself. If you can live your life being yourself, I imagine life won't be so damned hard.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments from both of you...this is what this blog is dedicated to doing, and it will continue to do! Your opinions, and thoughts are greatly appreciated! I will do my best to make sure that I represent the gay community to the best of my ability!!!!
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